The two sides of Rodriguez vs. West Virginia

The night before he resigned to accept the football-coaching job at the University of Michigan, Rich Rodriguez met with Mike Garrison, the president at West Virginia University.

Both have since given depositions as part of a $4 million lawsuit WVU filed over the buyout clause in its former coach's contract. Thanks to public information laws, transcripts of the depositions have been made available.

Not to let those facts get in our way, though, Rodriguez may "recall" the conversation going something like this ...

-- Rodriguez.: Mike, I don't really have to pay the whole 4 mil do I? The guv and the big hitters told me you'd take care of this and re-do the buyout clause after you took the oath of office, back when they put a gun to my head and forced me to sign the last contract. They said you were a good guy and didn't believe in anything that punitive. That's the right word, isn't it? Punitive? Or is it punitatious?

-- Garrison.: Well, Richie, tell me, what do you think is fair? I mean, dadgum it, nobody should be forced to sign a $9 million extension, especially if they don't like the office furniture and can't get their team up to beat Pittsburgh, goldarn it.

-- Rodriguez.: Aw, heck, I know that loss to Pitt cost the school a trip to the national championship game and million and millions of dollars. Nobody feels worse about that than I do. But I'm just one little guy. You gotta bail me out here. I'm thinking $250,000 would be a nice round number. I could run through the ATM and get that out, be back in 15 minutes and just hand you the cash.

-- Garrison.: That sounds good to me, Bubba. If the trustees don't like it, heck, I'll just have the business school sell somebody a master's degree and make up the difference that way.

Garrison's memory may differ and his "recollection" of the conversation may be more like this ...

-- Garrison.: Coach Rod, old buddy, what the dickens are you thinkin'? I mean, you dangled that Alabama job in our faces a year ago and we gave you all those bucks to stay. And, now, you're slappin' us up side of the head with Meeechigan? What do you want from us, man?

-- Rodriguez.: Well, money wouldn't hurt. My assistants need more cash. My players want to keep their books and I need free tickets for high school coaches and I want to sell a couple master's degrees, too, and I want everybody in the state to forget about that Pitt game. You said you'd give me all those things. And, short of that, I want you to re-write that buyout clause like you promised so I can go coach at a real university that'll appreciate me.

-- Garrison.: Well, I never! I said we'd take a further look at all those things and maybe try to knock that buyout down in your next contract, not the one you signed four flippin' months ago. Heck, I'm told your agent said to sign it, your financial guy said to sign it, your wife said to sign it, and your dog barked twice. It was one bark for no, two for yes. Did the mutt bark twice for Meeechigan?

-- Rodriguez.: (Sigh.)

-- Garrison.: Is Meeechigan gonna make you agree to a buyout clause in their deal?

-- Rodriguez.: Uh, yeah.

-- Garrison. How much?

-- Rodriguez.: Um, well, four million.

-- Garrison.: Geez Louise, son! Isn't that a bit punitatious?

(Contact Dave Hackenberg at dhack@theblade.com. More columns at www.toledoblade.com/hackenberg.)

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