A good book for kids that addresses a loaded word -- hate

Robie Harris tackles all kinds of issues in her books for kids -- everything from sibling rivalry to sex.

Now Harris takes on a loaded four-letter word -- hate -- in her book, "The Day Leo Said I Hate You!" (Little, Brown, $16.99, ages 3-7). Spectacularly illustrated by Caldecott Honor-winning artist Molly Bang, Harris' new book is a realistic yet reassuring look at how parents can help young children learn the power of their words, especially the "H" word.

"In every family, emotions fly out because it is safe," Harris said in a recent telephone interview. "I wanted to show children that you can hate the sand between your toes or smelly cheese. But, when you say 'I hate you' to a person, it makes the person feel very, very bad."

As the book opens, a preschooler named Leo is having a bad day. It seems that his mother is telling him nothing but "no": "No dancing on the table!"; "No squeezing toothpaste down the toilet!"; "No yelling Mommy Salami while I'm on the phone!"

Furious, Leo retreats to his room, where he uses his crayons to draw a mean picture of his mom on his wall. Of course, when his mom discovers what he's doing, she hollers at him: "No drawing on the wall!"

That's the breaking point for Leo, who ends up shouting "I hate you!" to his mom. Both Leo and his mother are stunned. Harris writes: "Leo wanted to stuff 'I hate you' right back into his mouth. But it was too late. The words popped out before he could stop them." Bang's two-page illustration shows a frightened Leo, shocked at what he's just done, set against a background of deep purple that mirrors his mood.

Then Leo and his mom have to figure out how to deal with this moment, which they do by talking about why it's OK to say you hate something like broccoli, but not OK to say you hate a person. Most importantly, however, Leo's mom reassures him that she still loves him, saying: "I hated it when you said those three words to me. But Leo, I could never ever hate you -- because I love you."

"Ultimately, this is a book about love," said Harris, who is a grandmother. "I don't do message books, but I hope that I've told a story that can help parents and kids see that something like this isn't the end of the world, but parts of the ups and downs of everyday life."

She added: "There are so many picture books that say 'I love you.' But what about those other three words?"

Harris published two other wonderful picture books this year, "Maybe a Bear Ate It" (Little, Brown, $15.99, ages 2-5), which focuses on a young reader's angst at "losing" his book; and "Mail Harry to the Moon" (Little, Brown, $16.99, age 3-7), which highlights an older sibling's creative efforts to rid himself of his baby brother. Both are illustrated with panache by Michael Emberley, Harris' frequent collaborator.

It's clear that Harris enjoys taking on difficult issues. Nearly 15 years ago, Harris published one of the first -- and still one of the best -- sex-education books for kids ages 10 and up, "It's Perfectly Normal." Responding to parents' requests, Harris has written two sex-ed books for younger kids: "It's So Amazing!," for readers ages 5-10; and "It's Not the Stork!," for readers ages 4-7.

Currently, Harris is in the process of updating "It's Perfectly Normal" for its 15th anniversary next year, as well as "It's So Amazing!," which celebrates its 10th anniversary. She's also just sold a picture book about facing fears, "When Lions Roar," and is working with Emberley on a series for preschoolers called "All About Us."

Harris' sex-ed books -- especially "It's Perfectly Normal" -- have attracted challenges from parents and others who oppose Harris' straightforward discussion of masturbation, HIV and birth control. In one recent, well-publicized challenge, a woman in Lewiston, Maine, checked out both of her local library's copies of "It's Perfectly Normal" and has refused to return them, saying the book contained "sexually graphic, amoral, abnormal" material.

"It's Perfectly Normal" often is on the American Library Association's list of frequently challenged books. This year, it ranks ninth.

"I would never say that every family, every library, every school should have my books," Harris said. "But any child ... who chooses to read the books I've written should be able to do it."

(Karen MacPherson, the children's/teen librarian at the Takoma Park, Md., Library, can be reached at Kam.Macpherson(at)gmail.co